Turning my back on the medical profession

Today I went back to the doctor to get the result of my blood test, although I already knew the outcome.  I had blood drawn for my own repeat thyroid tests at the same time.  As they test B12, CRP, Ferritin and Folate at my lab, I knew my B12 would be over their reference range.

I had a little rethink after my last visit and had come to the conclusion that I needed to shoulder at least part of the blame for the upset of the last visit.  On reflection, I perhaps didn’t present my case very well and assumed that my GP would have been good enough to at least take a cursory look over my notes and come up to speed with what was going on.  It seems he may have done that today – just enough to tell me my results were off the scale and that he couldn’t do any more tests as the PCT would be less than happy.

Mind you, he didn’t read that much into the file as he made some snippy little comments towards the end of the consultation about diet and lifestyle having an effect on my health.  No Shit Sherlock.  I patiently reiterated all the steps I had taken to mitigate those lifestyle risks and that it was a little hard to increase one’s exercise and activity when you were beset by intense physical discomfort when you did anything more strenuous than climb the frigging stairs or that, on a good day when you did actually manage to do something moderately constructive, you were beset by bone crushing fatigue which laid you out for hours (if you were lucky – otherwise it may be days).

He was slightly less snippy about the lab I use for my blood tests.  One step forward, three steps back eh?  He did make it clear that he thought I was wasting my money on the private blood tests and supplements.  Well, yeah, it’s costing me money which I shouldn’t have to be spending.  IF HE WAS DOING HIS FUCKING JOB PROPERLY!

I am not a hypochondriac.  Contrary to what he obviously thinks, I don’t want to be unwell.  I want to be able to function fully on a day to day basis and not be pole-axed any time I want to do something even mildly active. And it would really be appreciated if the so-called medical professional in front of me didn’t treat me like I knew absolutely nothing at all and discussed my concerns with me like an adult instead of making it painfully obvious that he thought I was worrying unnecessarily over nothing at all.  So it’s normal to be losing feeling in your legs is it?  I’m supposed to take time off working feeling absolutely crappy, accepting sick notes from the doctor and going downhill gradually until my blood tests prove unequivocally that there is, in fact, something wrong with.  I feel like I’m being punished for not accepting that there’s nothing wrong and for doing whatever I can to research my ills and help myself

Much as I don’t want to jump on the “it’s unfair” bandwagon, I can feel myself coming perilously close to that leap.


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